2nd Royal Guards Artillery (Accordian Division)

Artillery Poetry

The 2nd Royal Guards Artillery (Poetry Division) open the big bag of bad poetry and spew it towards your web face, while their commander controls the flow of words like a tap that is useless to feed from.

Foolio Poem


Smacked up panda
Living in the woods
Smacked up panda
Packed a salamander
Fishing in the sea,
Fishing in the sea.

Written by the 2nd Royal Guards Artillery (Department Fool).


For fecks sake not more Lemurs

Lemur salad cob,
Fried Lemur on a bed of lightly salted rice,
Lemur noodle soup,
Lemur in black bean sauce,
Lemur cigarettes,
Lemurs can achieve up to 48 miles per gallon.

Lemur pie,
Roast Lemur with boiled potatoes and vegetables,
Lemur flavour crisps,
Can-o-Lemur,
Potent Lemur wine,
Lemurs can vary between 16 and 24 volts.

Written by the 2nd Royal Guards Artillery (Poetry Division)(Section Lemur).


Guy who's really lost it

Ode to Rebecca's C
Folk rock.

Ohhhhhhh.
Rebecca's C is huge,
It's really really giant,
Must genuinely be big enough to get your head in,
Ohhh, Rebecca's C is massive.

Ohhhhhhh.
Rebecca's C is huge,
Captian Kirk would have lost his way in it,
Ohhh, the size of Rebecca's C is phenomenal.

Ohhhhhhhh.
Rebecca's C is huge,
No-one's ever truly determined the real scale of it,
Ohhh, Rebecca's gonna kill me when she finds out I've told you.

Written by the 2nd Royal Guards Artillery (Poetry Division).


More Goddam Awful poetry exists in the first page of Artillery poetry, and there's something gratuitous too.
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